Battlefield
by K.R. Saks
Summary: ONE-SHOT. She breaks up with him because he missed their first date, so he kisses another girl to vent his frustration. She gets a boyfriend to retaliate. He pulls her into a cupboard and ravages her like a hungry beast. True love? It was doubtful.


******Disclaimer: **All familiar characters belong to JK Rowling! The song "Battlefield" belongs to Jordin Sparks.

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**Battlefield**

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_Don't try to explain your mind_

_I know what's happening here_

_One minute it's love_

_And suddenly it's like a battlefield_

She huddled against the freezing walls of the Astronomy Tower, indescribably excited for their first officialdate. She had taken care to ensure that she was ten minutes early so she could calm her jumpy nerves before he came at their appointed time.

He had asked her out two weeks ago, and she had agreed because she had seen his changes over the course of the previous year. Since then, they had only been able to spend patrol hours together. This was their first date since becoming a couple, and to her, it was special.

So she waited patiently for him to arrive. Seven o'clock came and went and still she was alone on the tower.

But since he had a reputation for being late, she decided to wait a little bit longer. After all, she really did like him, and she wasn't as petty as to begrudge him a few lousy minutes. So she smiled and sat contently, rubbing her hands together to keep them warm.

Another thirty minutes passed until it was fast approaching 7:40 PM, and still, a no-show from him. She was starting to grow irritated and decided that she would wait till eight. If he hadn't come by then, she'd go find him.

Twenty minutes later found her storming down the Astronomy Tower, incensed. No matter how lenient she wanted to be, being one hour late to their first date was just too much. She couldn't help but wonder whether this was just another prank of his, something else for him to laugh about when he was bored. After all, he and his friends found humor in just about anything.

She flew down the steps till she reached the Great Hall and stomped over to the Gryffindor table where his friends were stuffing themselves into oblivion. They looked confused and pointed out that he was supposed to be with her. One of his friends snickered and told her that she was just being her regular impatient self and hadn't even bothered to wait for him. She nearly blew a fuse and decked him one, but instead, she left the Great Hall in search of her missing boyfriend.

She found him on the second floor corridor.

A basket of food was on the ground, contents spilled. It looked like it had been haphazardly knocked to the side. She frowned, perplexed, but then was distracted by a growl further down the corridor. She saw him then, but he wasn't alone. He had another boy's collar in his grip, and from the blood trickling down the other boy's face, he had clearly emerged victor in a fight.

She watched, mouth opened in horror as he swung his fist again, knocking the boy's head into the wall. There was a muffled groan and then hissed curse.

She had seen enough.

She marched forward and stepped between them smoothly, watching with satisfaction as her boyfriend's hazel eyes widened imperceptibly and a look of dawning realization crept over his features. She gave him a cold glare and turned around to help the other boy up from the ground.

Her boyfriend tried to explain. She ignored him and told him off like she had for the past six years.

He told her that he hadn't meant for things to go so far, that he hadn't gone out looking for trouble. But trouble had apparently found him and he couldn't have backed down from a fight because it wasn't in his nature. He thought the other boy deserved it.

She looked at him furiously and told him she had thought better of him. It was never right to resort to physical means to harm a fellow student.

She was about to walk away when he grabbed her arm and said that he was sorry, so sorry, about missing their first date. That he had been ready – as indicated by the food on the ground – and was in the middle of heading up when the other boy had assaulted him. He begged her not to leave, to give him another chance.

She shook her head. She was incredibly disappointed in him. She had thought he was better now, that his head had deflated enough.

He thought she knew he wasn't as arrogant and cocky as before. He thought he had shown her enough.

She had seen it, she said, but apparently, he had still yet to fully change his ways and his views. And until that happened, she refused to be his girlfriend.

And then she walked away without another glance, her right arm supporting the limping boy that her ex-boyfriend had so carelessly pummeled.

_One word turns into a war_

_Why is it the smallest things that tear us down?_

_My world's nothing when you don't_

_I'm not here without a shield_

_Can't go back now_

He was utterly devastated. The girl he had worked so long to get was disgusted with him and his apparently dastardly ways. But he had a _reason_… only she didn't want to hear it.

Since that incident, he had tried again and again to get her to listen to him. He had no doubt that the Slytherin _prat _had already poisoned her mind, and he knew beyond anything that he had to get to her. He _had _to.

And that was why he was practically tailing her the next day, telling her what had actually happened. She snubbed him repeatedly, but he knew that she was listening. And that was more than enough for him, even though he wasn't fully acknowledged.

He had already been running five minutes late because he had forgotten the candles that he had wanted to bring and had made a hasty trip back to the kitchens to see if the house elves had any extras. While he was rushing to the Astronomy Tower, he ran into the Slytherin, who had laughed at him when he saw the basket filled with food.

The Slytherin had sneered and said that they were _such _a perfect couple, because she was a worthless Mudblood and he was a blood traitor who cared about no one but himself. He had meant to walk away, but the taunting words came again and again, and his restraint had snapped. Because it was in his nature, he told her again. He couldn't back away from a fight.

She just gave him a small smile and an "I'm sorry." He knew she hadn't forgiven him, despite everything he told her, and he found himself feeling rather indignant and angry.

His eyes narrowed and he clenched his fists repeatedly in an attempt to release the tension in his body. But he wasn't able to control his tongue, and he spat at her that she was too closed-minded for her own good. If only she could open her eyes and _see_…

He never finished his sentence before she walked away.

He didn't understand why she couldn't just let it go. She had told him before that she was worried she would get hurt in this relationship because he was so different from her. He had reassured her that he would never, on his life, even think about hurting her.

His smile was wry as he walked down the corridor towards Gryffindor Tower. It was funny how _he _was the one hurt in the end.

_Both hands tied behind my back with nothing_

_These times when we climb so fast to fall again_

_Why we gotta fall for it now?_

She was feeling incredibly disoriented after the story he had told her, but she knew that while he told the truth, actions spoke louder than words. He had chosen to attack the Slytherin, and it was this mentality that she couldn't find it in herself to completely forgive.

A week passed by without much incident, and the more she thought about the situation, the more remorseful she felt. So maybe he had lashed out, and maybe she was right when she said that violence wasn't the key to everything… but he was _him_, like he had told her. Could she really begrudge him for acting like himself? She had told him before that she liked how blunt and honest he could be, and wasn't this just another part of that?

She told her friends how much she missed him. She missed his smile and his carefree laughter. She missed the way his hair would blow in the wind when he was on the Quidditch pitch. She missed his small surprises for her and how he would know what she was thinking before she said anything. She really, _really _wanted to talk to him, and her friends agreed that she should give him a chance.

And so she set out to look for him one night after dinner. She searched in Gryffindor Tower, the Great Hall, the kitchens, and even the library. When he was nowhere to be found, she decided to head up to the Astronomy Tower, thinking that maybe he wanted some peace and quiet.

She mentally recited her lines as she climbed. She would tell him she was sorry, that she overreacted, that it wasn't completely his fault. She would tell him that she wanted to start over again, give their relationship another shot. And finally, she would try to change for him, because she didn't want to be a judgmental girlfriend.

But all her reconciliatory thoughts disappeared when she saw him. He wasn't alone. His arms were fully wrapped around another girl, and they were engaged in such a passionate lip-lock that she was rendered shell-shocked. She stood, open-mouthed, as she heard the moans and groans elicited from roaming hands and battling tongues.

She should've known, she thought bitterly. Of course he wouldn't stand around and wait for her. She had forgotten who he was.

She stepped back and turned to leave, but her foot knocked over a metal bucket. The loud crash resonated throughout the tower and she whipped back around just in time to see him break away from the girl, brows furrowed.

His expression changed when he saw her, but even the look of horror on his face did nothing to satiate her hurt. He looked like he wanted to pull away from the girl and go to her, but the girl tightened her grip on him, indicating her possessiveness.

And so she left, not bothering to mask the utter betrayal that she felt. She'd thought all his declarations of undying love had meant something, but she realized that was too much to ask.

She stumbled down the tower and into her dormitory, practically throwing herself into her friends' arms. They soothed her as she cried and convinced her that he was a jerk, that despite his good looks and charming personality, he was a dick and a prat and a good-for-nothing git. She was better off without him, they said. She nodded and agreed, because despite how much she missed him and how much she liked him, she knew they were from different walks of life.

She would get over him. And that was that.

_I never meant to start a war_

_You know I never wanna hurt you_

_Don't even know what we're fighting for_

_Why does love always feel like a battlefield?_

He kept a careful watch on her ever since the day she had caught him on the Astronomy Tower. She went about her normal routine, attending classes, answering questions, getting perfect marks on her assignments. From the outside she looked as unruffled as ever, but he could see how tired she was, evidence of her sleepless nights under her brilliant green eyes.

His heart ached when he saw how feeble her smiles were, how little appetite she had when it came time for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And while a part of him was still angry at her for being too judgmental and too righteous, a larger part of him was anguished by the fact that he had done this to her. He had promised that he'd never hurt her, and yet unwittingly, he had probably hurt her more than anyone had before.

He wished he could explain that night on the Astronomy Tower to her, but he knew she would never listen, much less believe him. He had gone up there to be alone because he couldn't stand to be in the same room as her, not when he knew she was disappointed in him.

It had been refreshing to be so high up in the air, to let the freezing wind run through his hair. He wished he could go out on the pitch and fly, but the professors would probably see him through the huge windows in the Great Hall.

He had been thinking about how dismal the days had become without his vibrant red-headed girlfriend by his side that he almost hadn't noticed another person join him on the tower. And when he had felt a pair of feminine arms wrap around him, he had let her name escape his lips in a whisper laced with hope.

But the throaty chuckle definitely hadn't belonged to the girl he had in mind. He had pulled away, but she had made up for the space he had created by throwing her arms around him. She had told him that he didn't need her, the girl he had pined after for a good four years. This girl, who had smelled too strongly of perfume, had pressed her body flush up against his and whispered that she could give him everything he wanted.

And then she had proceeded to show him. He had tried to push her away at first, because the clear part of his mind told him that he was cheating on _her_, the girl he still loved.

But he had given up when the girl pressed her lips to his and coaxed his mouth open. He knew that the girl he loved would never give him the time of day anymore, and sometimes, a bloke needed a bit of comfort. And so he had reciprocated the kiss and had used her as a vessel to pour out all the bitterness and frustration that had welled up inside him.

That had been when _she _came. The look of hurt on her face had been enough to tear him to shreds and he had tried desperately, oh-so-desperately, to pull away from the girl clinging to him. But she had escaped before he could do anything, and he had been left with an even more shattered heart.

Now, as he watched her walk to the library, he wondered if he had used up his last nonexistent chance already. His friends told him that he should go to her and explain, that she would give him another chance because she was reasonable like that. But he knew that she wouldn't hear it, because his darling girl gave everyone second chances… except him.

She stopped to talk to a Ravenclaw on her way, and a surge of jealousy welled up inside him when he saw her smile a genuine smile… a smile that he hadn't seen for the past couple of weeks. But that guy… _he _had made her smile.

Over the next few weeks, he watched with trepidation as her smiles became more and more frequent. And then… she laughed. It was a joyous laugh that sent tingles through his body, and he felt his lips turn upward in a small smile. She had _that _much of an effect on him.

But his smile slowly faded when he heard the next question that bloody _ponce _asked. He wanted her – his beautiful, devoted, fiery-tempered girl – to be _his _girlfriend. He found himself praying to all the entities above that she would reject him, that she would tell him that she was sorry but there was someone else in her heart.

She didn't.

She bit her lower lip as she thought over the question, and then, to his surprise, she glanced over the ponce's shoulder and met his eyes. His breath caught in his throat as he stared at her, willing her to just bloody _understand_…

But then she broke their gaze and turned back to the bloody idiot… and nodded.

He wondered if it was a good idea to set fire to the Ravenclaw dormitories.

_Can't swallow our pride_

_Neither of us wanna raise that flag_

_If we can't surrender then we both gonna lose_

_What we had_

One minute she was listening to her new boyfriend talk about one of the novels he had just read and the next minute she was tugged away forcefully and shoved inside a broom closet.

She had just barely caught her breath when she felt his arms encircle her, pulling her close till there was no more space between them. Their noses were almost touching, and through the dim light, she could see the violent emotions swirling in his eyes.

"Why? Why go out with that idiot?" he choked out. "What kind of game are you playing?"

She stared into his eyes as calmly as she could and tried not to flinch at the evident anger and hurt that she saw. "I'm not playing any games."

"So this is revenge then," he spat out through clenched teeth. His breathing was horribly uneven, and she wondered just how much she had put him through. She hadn't known he would be so affected. "This is just your fucking _revenge_."

She realized with horror that her eyes were burning. She exercised deep breathing so she could keep her calm, but she knew it wasn't working, not when he was like this. Her heart was breaking. She had never seen him on the verge of a breakdown before, but this was probably pretty damn close.

She tried to keep her voice steady when she spoke. "This isn't for revenge. I'm… I'm happy with him."

Bitter laughter wracked his body and he swung away from her so that he was facing the opposite wall. She knew he was trying to get a hold of himself, because if anything, he hated appearing weak in front of others. She knew him that well.

"You're _happy _with that git?" he finally asked, voice unbelievably quiet. "The guy who tells academic jokes and sleeps with his school books?"

She felt the need to defend her boyfriend, even though she had to admit his words held an ounce of truth. "I like his personality," she said enthusiastically. "He's extremely well-read and his jokes are actually-"

She never got to finish her compliment. His lips were on hers in a flash, and he was kissing her with such fervor and passion that her knees nearly buckled. There was nothing soft and gentle about it. He moved against her roughly, his lips harsh and unyielding. He was pouring all his anger and frustration into her, and she accepted it without complaint. She knew she had hurt him… but he had hurt her too. They were in a battle of wills, one that would have no victor because neither of them would give in.

He pulled away when they were both out of breath and he rested his forehead against hers, eyes closed and chest heaving.

His eyes were shuttered when he finally looked at her. "You love him?" he whispered.

"I could" was her reply.

She watched with a heavy heart as he took the information in.

He swallowed. "I see."

And then he turned away and exited the broom closet, leaving her with swollen lips and watery eyes. She recognized his actions for what they were, and instead of feeling relief, she felt like collapsing into a sobbing mess.

He had admitted defeat.

_We could pretend that we're friends tonight_

_And in the morning we'll wake up and we'll be all right_

'_Cause baby, we don't have to fight_

_And I don't want this love to feel _

_Like a battlefield_

Another month passed by. The two of them were, as much as he hated to admit it, perfect. The Ravenclaw bookworm was her ideal boyfriend. From what other people said, he was never late to a meeting, always there for her whenever she needed him, and was such a pacifist that he had never lifted a wand or a hand on anyone with violent intentions.

How disgustingly _perfect_.

Ever since he had left her alone in that broom closet, he had given up hope. He had been torn and hurt and had stumbled his way to Gryffindor Tower and collapsed on his bed. He had refused to answer any questions and had stayed like that for the rest of the day.

It was incredibly difficult to get over his first love.

But he had convinced himself that he needed to let her go. After seeing the two of them so lovey-dovey together, he had known that as annoying as the ponce was, _he_ could give her things that he could never dream of. He wanted the best for her, even if it meant losing her.

He desperately tried to get over her, which was why he was sitting in the Astronomy Tower, empty firewhiskey bottles littering the floor.

One last night. He allowed himself to indulge in her just one _last _night before he would wipe away all his memories of her. He would find himself another girl like she had found herself another guy, and that would be it. They would graduate, go their separate ways, and with luck, he would never have to see her or hear from her again. He knew it was the only way to stop himself from going after her again.

He lifted the bottle and poured its remaining contents into his mouth, barely cringing when the burning liquid went down his throat. By now, it had dulled to a comfortable burn, and he welcomed it with open arms. He needed to get drunk. He needed to forget.

He didn't know how long it had been, but by the time he heard faint footsteps, a comfortable haze had already surrounded his mind. He could no longer think clearly and he was thankful for that. So when he saw _her _come, his expression remained bland and his eyes remained glassy. Even though his heart clenched and that familiar pain returned, the alcohol had dulled it to the point where he was able to appear much less affected than he would've been.

He watched through half-lidded eyes as she paused hesitantly by the entrance of the tower, as if silently asking for permission to enter.

He averted his gaze.

He heard her sigh and then she slowly walked in and seated herself next to him. She removed the firewhiskey bottle from his hands and set it to the side. He didn't protest her actions.

She let out a melancholy sigh then and he perked up slightly. Had that bloody bastard caused her pain? The thought riled him up for a second before he reminded himself that he didn't care. He wasn't supposed to care.

There was a pause in both movement and sound… and then she let her hand rest on his exposed forearm, where he had rolled his sleeves up, and squeezed lightly.

"James," she whispered.

He didn't understand why she was here. And so he remained silent and hoped beyond hope that she wasn't here to break his heart again… because he didn't know if he could survive if that happened.

"James, will you please look at me?" she said.

He didn't comply, mainly because he couldn't bear to look at those vibrant green eyes.

She blew out a sigh when she realized he wouldn't do as she requested, but she spoke nonetheless. "I've been thinking a lot these past few months, and I've realized that we've been so bloody stubborn."

She laughed then, but there was no humor in her voice. "This whole thing started because you were late to our first date. If only one of us had admitted defeat earlier, or if one of us had given in to the other, we wouldn't have wasted a good three months dodging each other in a foolish attempt to find our happiness."

He couldn't help but agree.

"And while I think both of us were at fault, I know I was the one who started it." She sounded remorseful then, and he was tempted, _so _tempted, to reach out and grab her hand and sooth the hurt away. "If I hadn't had so much pride… I should've apologized earlier and maybe you wouldn't have gone off with that girl..."

The last part was said in a mumble, and he wanted to castrate himself again for that night.

"So… I'm sorry, James. And I know this is going to sound incredibly selfish of me, but I want… I want us to be together again."

_That _prompted him to lift his head and look at her. She was looking so hopeful and devastated at the same time that it was hard to tell which emotion dominated.

"Are you… are you serious?" he finally asked. He had some difficulty bringing himself to believe what she was saying, especially after all the time that he spent convincing himself that she no longer cared about him. "But… what about that ponce?"

A corner of her lips lifted. "You mean my _ex-boyfriend_ Derrick Andrews? He's not a ponce. The guy's sweet."

He glowered at the empty bottles. "He's still a ponce."

She chuckled and then fell quiet.

He realized then that he needed to make his amends now. She had been right when she had said that they were both at fault. She had been willing to make the first move, and now it was his turn. He had a feeling he had a lot more to apologize for than she did.

He turned to her, shaking off as much of the haze as he could from the alcohol, and took her hand. Merlin, he had missed her.

"I'm sorry, Lily," he murmured. "So unbelievably sorry. I shouldn't have been late to our first date and I shouldn't have let Snape get to me." He felt her squeeze his hand, telling him that she understood. He took in a shuddering breath. "But the thing I regret the most was kissing that girl. Believe me, Lily, there was no passion that night. I was… I was frustrated at the way things were going between us and furious with myself. And she was just there…"

"It's okay," she whispered. "It's okay. I understand."

He moved to stand, but his head spun and his eyesight blurred. She steadied him and eased him back into a sitting position.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer, wanting to touch her and feel her for all she was worth. He hadn't known how much he had missed her, not until now.

He pressed his face into her soft hair, inhaling the sweet apple scent of her shampoo. She always felt like heaven to him.

"Lily?" he murmured.

"Hmm?" Her voice came back slightly muffled.

"Can we promise not to fight for a very long time? When other couples get angry at each other, they get into a small argument that ends overnight. But when we fight it's like a full-blown war that takes at least three months to end." He lifted his head and touched her cheek. "I don't think I can handle another fight without going insane."

She smiled and gently pressed her lips to his. "I promise. No more fights, no more battles, no more wars."

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**Author's Note: **I absolutely adore this song by Jordin Sparks and it was the brainchild for this one-shot. Hope you all enjoy it! Review to let me know what you think :)

_xox_ _**KRS**_


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